A FRESH take on New Year's Resolutions

Dec 30, 2013

There's just no denying that the start of the new year brings about feelings of hope and renewal.  Why deny those feelings?  So here's my unique list of five resolutions you should make for 2014:

1.  Make a list of FIVE resolutions.  No more, no less.  Commit to them!  If you attain them all before 2014 is finished, that's fine.  New Year's Day in the Sikh Nanakshahi calendar is on March 14th ...  Bengali New Year is celebrated on April 14th or 15th in Bangladesh and in the Indian state of West Bengal ... the Ethiopian Orthodox New Year is on September 11th ... I could go on, but you get the idea.  (Thanks, Wikipedia.)

2.  Of those five resolutions, make one of them your ultimate resolution, and then TATTOO THAT RESOLUTION ON YOUR BODY SOMEWHERE.  Hopefully, your ultimate resolution will be something like "Stop Judging" or "Spread Peace."  But, if you decide to tattoo "STOP EATING MAYONNAISE" across your forehead, I'll give it up to you.  (Hopefully, though, a lot of other people get that "Stop Judging" tattoo I mentioned earlier.)

3.  Live in fear.  There are lots of things to be afraid of:

- regret

- bad health

- missed opportunities

- squirrels*

4.  Eat sugar!  Vow to replace all artificial sweeteners with regular sugar.  Oh no he didn't!  Yep, I used the S-word.  Let me tell you something:


Overeating sugar is a problem.  Artificial sweeteners are a problem.  Lack of knowledge is a problem.  Using the word "sugar" when you really mean "sucrose" or "table sugar" is the problem.  Let's make 2014 the year where we stop saying, "I'm giving up sugar."  Because if you are truly giving up sugar, then you're giving up, among other things:

- yogurt

- ALL fruit

- ALL vegetables

- ketchup

- green juice

- and basically every other food that you can think of

(To me, this is actually the biggest problem I see when it comes to nutrition today: the miscommunication that occurs when people talk about food, health, and nutrition.  I'm going to address this in my blog in 2014.  It's on my list of five resolutions.  I haven't decided yet if I am getting "EDUCATE PEOPLE ON THEIR POOR VOCABULARY WHEN IT COMES TO NUTRITON" tattoed on my arm, though.)

5.  Exercise less!  Just make your exercise more efficient.  Do it right, do it hard, and then spend the majority of your time making life better:

- volunteer your time and help people less fortunate than yourself

- spend time with your family and friends

- think about the hardships and obstacles you go through in your own life ... and then try to realize that EVERY OTHER PERSON IN THE WORLD has their own hardships and obstacles.




*Squirrels are scary.  Their herky jerky movements, the way they look at you while remaining completely still, the fact that they could jump on your head anytime you walk under a tree, those bushy tails that could choke off your air supply ... the list goes on and on.


Category: Tips

blog comments powered by Disqus